Equal

There are too many things that I want to do in life. There, it’s said, and saying it gets it out there, but I’m not sure it’s going to make it any easier for me to start to try to get some focus in my life. One of the things that makes my life harder, is looking around me at the world, and knowing the fact that women still make considerably less money than men do; this makes my life harder on a real-life, practical level, in many ways. 

The research tells us that today, white women make 77 cents for every dollar that a white man makes, and Black and Hispanic women make even less, between 56 and 64 cents an hour. This is for the same type of work. Research also shows that the pay gap widens as women get older. Perhaps this is why I keep working so hard to keep up with the men in my life, as is this was some sort of race, but you know, it is. It’s a race to keep my condo, a race to pay the bills, a race to have enough, but in this race, women are hobbled, and no one is sayin “Hey, let’s untie the rope.” That is, except for mostly women, who already have too much on their plates. 

Even writing this feels like bad juju. Like I’m just another angry woman, like the cranky energy from thinking and feeling this way will jinx me and I’ll make even less money than I do now. That no man will want to be with me, because I’m breaking the ‘be nice’ rule women hear over and over again. So where is the answer then? How do we as women live our lives, enjoy ourselves and not be angry too much of the time and still move equal pay forward? I remember only 5 or 6 years ago when a man I was working with remarked that another young man had left his job there for better pay saying, “Well, he’s a father now, he has to make more money.” I kept wondering while I stood there, don’t you understand, that I as a woman support my daughters? 

When are we going to stop having the silly Father Knows Best world play out in our heads  when it never did and never will match up to any sort of lived reality? As our economy and job situation continues to evolve, where will we end up? How can we close these gaps? I don’t know. I will put it out there though, that along with all the things I want to do in my life, I want to move the good things forward, and leave the troublesome things behind. And, oh yeah, marriage for all.