Unbound

Equal: (from Thesaurus)

adjective

1 lines of equal length: identical, uniform, alike, like, the same, equivalent; matching, even, comparable, similar, corresponding. ANTONYMS different.

2 fares equal to a month's wages: equivalent to, identical to, amounting to; proportionate to; commensurate with, on a par with. ANTONYMS more than, less than.

3 equal treatment before the law: unbiased, impartial, nonpartisan, fair, just, equitable; unprejudiced, nondiscriminatory, egalitarian; neutral, objective, disinterested. ANTONYMS discriminatory.

4 an equal contest: evenly matched, even, balanced, level; on a par, on an equal footing; informal fifty-fifty, neck and neck. ANTONYMS uneven.

After writing about women’s pay not being equal, I kept thinking about the concept of equal, or equality. I thought about how for so long, the way we looked at life was to count, to quantify whatever it was that we imagined could be measured, and we also then believed that things being equal meant that things were fair. This however, means taking a huge step back from reality, and imagining, or supposing that we could know all the variables there are to measure, and that by measuring, we could be sure of the measure. And then with the measuring, believing things are equal. (See above.) Which, if we read the above, we know, equal is impossible. 

We still see this, we still see people thinking that because in the US we have the concept of equal opportunity, that equal opportunity exists. It is very easy for many of us who have white privilege to see things this simply. But the truth is, it is not that simple. For one, we really cannot measure most intangible things. There will always be only a correlation at best between reality and that which is being measured. Life is not static, it is always changing, that what we measured today may have different variables attached to it tomorrow. 

And the harm, that I saw in my writing about equal, is that it limits me in my thinking, something I hope never happens. It limits me to anger and to trying to change a whole system, instead of focusing on my life, and what I can change. Yet it also helped me to to see, and be reminded of the fact that I am not bound by cultural norms, or expectations, or bound to always make less money than men, simply because I am a woman. I can be, for the sake of science terminology, an outlier. But I prefer to just believe that I am unbound. Unbound by the system, unbound by the thoughts, even that I think about what life is or could be. I am unbound and therefore able to live in energy that is unmeasurable. Continuing to thrive in abundance in that which can’t be quantified. Who really, would want to count the stars?