Chaos Theory

I really don’t know much about chaos theory, but I am way an expert on chaos. Anyone seen my bedroom lately? Hurry, shut the door. Seriously, my kids would look at me like I’m a liar when I’m saying it, but I have had my moments of organization. A friend also noted, that “hey, you wouldn’t have two graduate degrees if you weren’t somehow organized and disciplined." That’s all good and true, but right now, my life feels very chaotic, but I’m ok with it. I’m just thinking the chaos will calm down, settle down into something, something different than what my life was before, but it will be fine.

A writing project that I have a piece accepted for has been fully funded on kickstarter.com, so that means I will be published this year in an anthology! It feels like after a lifetime of wanting to be a real writer, it’s finally happening. I’m more than a couple of years now into my private practice as a therapist, and I’m still loving it, and feeling like this is a good path for my life. My children continue to grow, and have their brilliant moments and their moments of still, well, behaving like children, but I think that’s part of the joy.

I’m having more fun, paying less attention to the things that I used to make so sure to keep in order, so it feels chaotic, but it also feels more like embracing life, and loosening my grip on the wheel a bit. Who knows, maybe I’ll let someone else drive once in a while. Inside the chaos, you can feel the wind on your face, you can see colors moving really fast, you can see the less important fall away, the more important get lifted up, you know what, this chaos, it moves you.