Myths About Motivation and Money

So, I read this short article yesterday (June 23, 2014), written by Allison Linn, CNBC.com, called; Wealthy Parents' Big Fear? Raising Spoiled Poor Little Rich Kids. Basically, what this article stated was that the rich lose sleep over worrying that their wealth will ruin their children. The survey that this article was based on asked wealthy families around the world; what their greatest fears regarding their wealth and their  future were. Worry about health was actually first, and secondly was that, “My children will lack the drive and ambition to get ahead.” 

Read that again, “My children will lack the drive and ambition to get ahead.” This is from parents who have $10 million or more. What this statement implies, is that money is what motivates people to get ahead. And maybe more importantly, it suggests that the lack of money is a motivator. What I’d really like to ask of these wealthy mamas and papas, is what they think getting ahead is when you come from a family with $10 mil. 

Where do we get our crazy ideas about money? If you are poor and hungry you are probably less likely to be motivated, simply because you are well, hungry and tired. Motivation is not something magic that some of us have and others don’t. Motivation is a normal human function that comes from a healthy functioning mind and body. This is not to say that those in extreme circumstances don’t often rely on whatever they can to be and stay motivated. This motivation can also come from altruism, like wanting good things for your children. 

Research finds over and over that really, after basic needs are met, people are not motivated by money. This however, flies in the face of most of our systems, where we worship not just money, but the concept of the lack of money, scarcity. What else would make getting ahead a priority for people who are not only already ahead, but there? As in, they have arrived. 

As my girls were growing up, I was worried for them, and not about them getting ahead, but about them getting a chance. I wanted them to have a chance to pursue their dreams, to travel, to be educated, to find an arena in which to connect and collaborate and be accepted and celebrated. To find and create relationship and community. This was not about getting ahead. I was worried because I’d internalized silly things that people wrote about children of single parented homes. I also worried because I’d bought into all the crazy myths about money and about enough. 

Well, now I know there is enough, and I don’t have to have $10 mil, or even $1 mil to know this. My daughters are finding their way in life, educating themselves, and traveling and creating relationship and family and community. I’m doing the same. I don’t think we can spoil our kids, and I don’t think we have to live with unexamined and untrue ideas about money, success, motivation and family. Our children aren't spoiled by money, but by our weird internalized beliefs. And even with that, there is always hope that their internal motivation will spur them to examine their beliefs, and with more resources, they should be able to access good people to help them on their journey. With $10 mil parents, come on, don’t worry, be happy. The children are all right.