strong enough

The thing about life, is that sometimes we get strong enough to face the sad things, the hard things, and we are still alright. If I lived long enough, I would figure out the formula, like how much time and love need to pass for us to go back and revisit hard things in our lives. But I've always been under the impression that life is too large, too wonderful, too precious for me to enjoy all of it, so I've had to pick and choose, and hopefully choose wisely, where to invest my time and energy, so let me just say, I'm ok, strong enough to explore my own shadow side, brave enough, as I hope those I connect with need to be, to do the hard work of living and trying to make sense, when there is no sense at all. It's like enjoying just jumping into a beautiful blue wave on a warm day, or taking that drop of ocean and looking at it under a microscope, sometimes, you just need to jump in, before the day ends. Poet or scientist, mother or therapist, or just me, working through the hard things.


Neglect

I need to write for myself again

whoever she is

when I find her

I will take her in my arms

and never let her go

I loved Michael

because he held

me and rocked

me and sang to me

silly songs

in his beat up recliner

in his trailer

in the Lazy U

trailer park

in Medford

on 35W

just North of

Owatonna

and he gave me a place

to rest

amidst everyone wanting something

needing something from me

which my grown children

now tell me

I was never able to give

to them

and so I wonder

what was the point?

being raised to measure by

how helpful

useful

there

I was for

everyone else

I was neglected

and neglected myself

and my children perhaps

although I will say in my

defense

defensively

I did what I could

I loved you my best

and even if it seems

my love was not enough

if I find myself

will my love be enough

for myself




anointed

who will be the one to rock
the scared ones
who will be the one to hold
the shattered ones
who will be the one to hold
out hope
when it seems there is none
who is the one who will write
the sacred text
because the old one
is too worn out
to read anymore
and too many were killed
and abused by the sacred words
of the past anyway
who will map out
the future
for those who are lost
who will find the star
that will guide us
safely home