Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

or Now That You've Turned 17

Money don’t grow on trees
are you listening
to what I’m telling you girl
that money don’t grow on trees

So what you gonna do
while you’re eating up my food
tell me what you gonna do
little girl to survive in this big world

Cuz money don’t grow on trees
don’t you know
that’s a fact
and you little girl are costin me some cash

So what you gonna do now
who you gonna be
what you gonna do now
Darlin can’t you see

Money don’t grow
money don’t grow
money don’t grow on trees

You can get yourself to college
you can take out lots of loans
or you can make yourself a waitress
or a receptionist on the phone

Girl you’re not bad lookin
you can get yourself some heels
you can get yourself a college man
or a business man with wheels

Maybe they’ll be nice to you
maybe they’ll treat you right
maybe they’ll get you pregnant
and sneak out on you at night

But girl if you haven’t noticed
it’s a man’s world still
and your mama and I done raised you
we love you and always will

But girl you just gotta know
little girl can’t you see
look out into our backyard
money don’t grow on trees


I’ve been thinking about this whole idea of money, and especially, since watching the movie An Education last weekend on Netflix, about how girls were told back in the day, and maybe still today, that “Money doesn’t grow on trees you know.” It was usually said in a blaming way, a mean way that could easily translate into “I’m not going to pay to take care of you much longer.” Especially to a kid who’s vulnerable and not sure how money, or the world for that matter works, this sounds like a horrible threat.

The young woman in the movie is told by her dad, in this very way, that she needs to figure out what to do with her life because, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” This movie spoke to me and brought me perilously back to my own life at around age 17, when I had no clue what to do with my life, and/or how to do it. I was terrified. I only knew that my dad had the job, the full time job anyway, and almost all of the power in my family. I knew I wanted to go to college, but if money didn’t grow on trees, how would I pay for it? I received little to no education on money and finances, and had no idea that different jobs paid different amounts of money. I was nearly forty when I realized that my brother, the CPA, had much more earning potential than I did with my four year degree in English, who knew? I thought that if I had a four year degree and worked hard, I could earn a living. Silly me.

It’s true that money doesn’t grow on trees, but it’s also true that many of the things that we believe about money are not true, also. Sometimes going to college, getting An Education, means more opportunities, but not necessarily more money. Getting an education in a field in which you excel, and for which there is a need, may get you some money, but even now, some pay scales for some jobs are falling while others are rising. Traditionally, jobs that were mostly held by women earned less money than jobs that were held by men. Working mothers today earn less than working women who are childless, go figure.

We live in an era where girls and women are still given mixed messages about money and about their worth and value. If girls are given the message that they’re not worth it, (a burden, or not worth supporting until they can support themselves), then how can they convince themselves to take out student loans, against the collateral of themselves? It’s a conundrum. For many girls and women, marriage is still a way out of worrying about money. In the movie, the main character drops out of school once she gets engaged at age 17.

I just think, that if money, as my dad used to say, doesn’t grow on trees, then we need to let young people, boys and girls, know where money does grow. We also need to let our children know that they have an intrinsic value, outside of being able to support themselves financially. We need to move to what Riane Eisler calls an economy of caring. (Riane Eisler received the Distinguished Peace Leadership Award in 2009.) An economy that values power with instead of power over, especially in terms of money.

In my own family, while a single mom raising three daughters, my use of my economic power was tempered by a value of sharing. I wanted to share all the resources, and power also. I did my best to live out a more value based way of looking at money, and I’m still working on it. I have somehow figured out, that money doesn’t grow on trees. It also doesn’t pay to be married to someone who you think will support you and your children at the expense of your soul. I know that my parents, (and my dad who’d say this) weren’t trying to be mean, or mess up my head about money for as long as this has happened, but that’s what happened, and I’m only now wrestling with it in a way that I may have some peace.

Money doesn’t grow on trees, but money can be like the air I breathe, it can come and go, and as long as I’m alive there will be enough. Like in a panic attack, it sometimes seems like I can’t breathe, when money is tight, and I’m scared, but I can sit through it and wait, and here comes the breeze, with money floating on it, in it, through it. Somehow, of all the abundance in the universe, there is enough to buy groceries for the week, and maybe, just maybe, buy baby a new pair of shoes, too.