No More Tears

In the bleak midwinter, well, we’re not even midwinter yet, and although the solstice is less than a week away; it’s bleak enough. I’ve wondered off and on, “Do I have SAD?” (sunlight affective disorder), but it just doesn’t fit. I've always liked gray days. I finally had an aha moment and realized I do have SAD, but it’s snow anxiety disorder! I had it bad during last Saturday's snowstorm, the more it snowed, the more anxiety I had. I was, as Megan put it, freaking out.

I was trapped and I’d never get out, again. I was sure of it, even though I’ve lived in Minnesota for all but one and a half years of my life; and every snowstorm, sure enough, we dig out. So there is now plenty of sun, and a path through the ginormous piles of snow, but now it is cold, and I won’t even try to tell how cold, the analogies aren’t bitter enough.

I’ve got a plan now, though, and I need to put it on a vision map for my future. I want to rent a condo for at least a month say during January every year in Santa Fe. Hey! Deal with anxiety how you must, I’m dreaming one more sunny, warm, snowless month a year into my future. The condo of course, will have an art studio, and a patio, and a pool. Splash.