Christmastime is Here

The World has not Ended, Christmastime is Here, and Is it OK to be Happy? 

I woke up tired, it might be the hot flashes that are my new nightly experience, it might be that it’s been a long week, and a busy year, it also might be that kind of bone tired, when you realize that the worst really has not happened, there is tragedy in our news, but the world is still here, I saw the sliver of the moon lighting up the clouds last night when I got home about 9 pm, and felt the cold breeze through the window that I threw open around 2 am. It could also be relief, that the last of the Christmas presents that I ordered online just Sunday arrived yesterday, I love online shopping. So, in spite of being tired, I want to be able to enjoy the holidays this year. Really, to just relax and sink into being grateful, and happy. 

Can we be happy at this holiday time of year? I mean, really, is it OK? Can we be happy with what little or alot we have, can we be happy that the kids are either out of school, or home for the holidays, whether we like who they are dating or the fact that they might be out of work? Seriously, can we just be who we are, and celebrate that? I’m talking about letting go of the Martha Stewart family perfection that the media portrays this time of year. 

I’m lucky, I don’t have television, so I’m not subjected to the commercials that show families with perfect complexions, wearing brand new clothes, living in perfect homes any more, but I remember them from a long time ago when I watched television, and internalized the crazy idea that this might somehow be true. In case you’re still unconvinced, let me tell you, it’s not, and from what I know, those attempting to live this life of family perfection are miserable. There you have it, perfection is impossible, and the attempt of it leads to misery. 

What then? Love the ones you’re with, an old hippie phrase from Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, but apt. When you let go of the expectations of perfection, or actually, expectations of any kind, it lets real relationship blossom, and it will. Let go of who you think others should be, let go of what the holidays used to mean, or you think they should mean, use your imagination and let the holidays become for you what you want them to be, and then embrace it. This is your life, your time, you can celebrate that Jesus was born, you can celebrate that the lamps are still burning, you can celebrate that you have food to share, whatever brings meaning to your life, celebrate it. 

Years ago, I had a nativity set that I put out at this time of year, if I am honest, I will say that I put it out for my girls, so that they would know that this time of year was not really about Santa, (although I would take them downtown to sit on Santa’s lap), but about Jesus being born. When I was a child, I knew Christmas was about Jesus, and going to church, although I looked forward to getting a flannel nightie from my older sister, this I could count on, the gifts I got from Santa could be iffy, they may or may not be something I liked or wanted, and then I would not only feel disappointed, but also guilty, ungrateful and this combination of emotions was toxic. My oldest sister’s presence and her soft gift, consoled me. 

Now, this nativity set, a pretty set, from Italy, is in the trunk of my car. Baby Jesus’ hand is broken off, but you can hide that flaw in the straw around him. I was going to donate this set somewhere, that is why it’s in my trunk, but I don’t know of anyplace to bring it. So now, I contemplate bringing it in the house, setting it up, a reminder of what Christmas used to mean to me. What can I take with, bring into the future of this? Perhaps what it is, which I know my parents gave me when they shared their faith, is that this was a passing down of their best interpretation of how life works. I know that this was more than interpretation to my dad, especially, it was his hold on a tenuous life. My mom, too, holds onto her prayer life, telling me, often, that she is praying for all of us, holding out hope, holding out her best, holding her children in this tender, ephemeral web of love. Do we really need to keep trying to work out when the world will end? Do we really need to keep trying to work out how to live? Can we say we get it, yet? Can we be present, and grateful and happy?