Caught between the polarity of abundance and scarcity, I’ve lived with both. More scarcity than abundance, depending upon what we’re measuring. And in the scarcity, I was hungry for more. Leaving small town Owatonna, hungry for adventure, hungry for new friends, and hungry for a chance to live a life that felt authentic to me. A life not constrained by the role of single mom, although that is still part of my identity. A life not constrained.
It’s been nearly five years now, since I left Owatonna to return to Minneapolis, my home town. Have I head enough? In some ways, I miss the quiet of Owatonna, especially when a ruckus in my alley on a Saturday night wakes me at 3:00 am. But not enough to make me go back and leave the ever changing landscape of my city, or the quiet and awe that comes upon me when I drive around Lake Calhoun at dusk.
To be honest, however, during this transition, I have been quietly scared. Scared that I wouldn’t ‘make it’ that I wouldn’t have ‘enough.’ And I think now I need to not focus on scarcity, looking back to how isolated I felt in Owatonna, nor look toward the unknown future, hoping for abundance, but to be in the present, in enough.
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