What's Your Holiday Emotional Temp?

This is the time of year that my youngest daughter lives for. She loves the snow, doesn’t mind the cold, has no problem wearing long underwear under her jeans and as of today has changed both her and my phone to have Christmas backgrounds and ring-tones. I am coming off of a most disappointing Thanksgiving, which I spent alone in bed, sick, while my family feasted on Megan’s amazing cooking. I had no clue she was using the expensive organic, US based apple juice for brining the turkey, but I did have a clue the dinner was going to be spectacular. She has a gift for the holidays. Her love for this time of year is infectious, and to be blunt, in complete contrast to my, “Oh where has summer and daylight gone, and damn it’s cold, attitude.” 

In trying to defend myself, I said to her a couple of weeks ago, “But hey, I gave you guys great Christmases, a nice tree, presents even when I was strapped for cash.” Her reply, “But mom, you didn’t enjoy it, you weren’t happy or excited, it’s not about the things, it’s about the feelings, and the magic of Christmas.” And you know what, she was right. I could again, become defensive, and say something like, “For Pete’s sake, I was a struggling single mom, I had every reason to be overwhelmed and tired and sad.” But I didn’t, I simply remembered back to my own childhood Christmases, where my mom was stressed out, and it wasn’t really fun or nice, even though we had ‘everything.’ One of my best holiday time memories, was actually on Christmas eve day, going ice skating with my older brothers, when my mom was exasperated and chased us out of the house. 

And so, I share this with you on the day after Thanksgiving, in order to ask you, what are you feeling and expressing around this time of year? Because, you know, we don’t just pass down traditions and stuff, but we pass down our feelings, too. We pass down how we react, what we believe about life in general, and even rules around how happy we think it’s ok to be. This year, I’m shifting, from sweet Pete, it’s cold, to wow, how lovely are the stars in the long night sky. I’m shifting to smelling hot cider, to being grateful for the simple things, and the most important things, like a daughter who in spite of my harried feelings was able to hang onto her simple delight in this most wonderful time of the year. 

P.S. Megan brought me home a plate, and Kathleen posted pictures and so I was able to see what a beautiful job my daughters did without me in creating a fabulous Thanksgiving for their dad, their grandmother, and their aunt (and their children). Kathleen hosted and her place looked beautiful. Erin & Andy picked up Megan, and then came back for the forgotten bacon (for the greens). Max made his cheesy garlic french bread. I missed the smell of turkey roasting, but was so warmed by the thought of my kids taking care of themselves and each other. Bravo.