Girls Just Want to Have Fun

That is, if they can figure out how to have fun. We’re at two days and counting to America’s big, woo-hoo party, the Fourth of July, and this year, I’m at least trying to plan something fun for my family. It’s the time of year when the girls look at me and laugh and remember back, that if they were lucky on the Fourth, instead of ‘letting’ them look out the window at the fireworks a mile away, I would pack them in the car, and bring some popcorn, and drive closer so that they’d get a better view of the small town display. I’d find a spot on the street, a few blocks from where it seemed like the whole town of Owatonna was congregating at the fairgrounds, and park there. Then, I could also beat the small town traffic jam home.

Such was my life. I single parented and I was tired a lot. As Kathleen got older, she angrily accused me, “You just don’t know how to do the Fourth of July Mom!” I just didn’t know how to plan and execute these things all on my own, and I never felt a part of the Owatonna community, where it seemed all the women were pros at exactly this small town type of party gig. It made me feel like a city girl, and so, if I couldn’t be good at their parties, I’d only marginally show up, parked down the street in the dark.

So, this year I’m trying, a bit halfheartedly, but I’m trying. Growing up in my big, intact family, the Fourth was cap guns and rolls of caps my dad would pull out of his pocket. If my neighborhood friends came over, he’d bring out small hammers, and there we’d all sit on the hot sidewalk, smacking caps. Then, we’d picnic in our big backyard, and at dusk, walk down to Lake Calhoun to watch the sky light up over the lake. Since I couldn’t match this for my girls, I gave up.

More and more, I’m seeing that in my family of origin, us girls just don’t know how to have fun. I can cook, and I can write, and I can be silly too, but having fun eludes me, but I’ve realized I have to figure this out, I just have to learn how to have fun. It seems a bit easier on my own, as friends have often said of me, that I’m easily amused. It’s true, but these family things are complicated and actually require planning!

So, this year, I started planning a whole 5 days in advance, asking Erin if we could get together at her and Andy’s place if I brought the food. She agreed, but being the introvert and always tired mom of a one year old, she didn’t seem too enthused. Happy about the fact I’m bringing cheesecake, though.

So, tomorrow I’ll bake cheesecake, and make macaroni salad, and buy buns and cold cuts and chips. I’m struggling a bit with a sprained rotator cuff, but by golly, we’ll make this happen and it will be fun. I may even put blueberries and raspberries on the cheesecake, like a picture from Woman’s Day magazine. (Woman’s Day? Really?) And it will be fun, Kathleen will pick up her grandmother, and I’ll see what my mom is up to, and so we’ll have our Fourth of July. I may watch the fireworks off of my alley deck later with a glass of wine, and remember back to sitting on a blanket, friends and family around, looking out over Lake Calhoun, the sky ablaze, the murmur of “Oohs and aahs” in the hush of the night.